Ranting

Memphasis > Insulting In Style

May 26th, 2016

INTELLIGENT INSULTS. CLEVER COMEBACKS. As we brace for this summer’s political conventions and a general election that promises to raise the lowest levels of public discourse to new heights, I thought I’d share some of my favorite exchanges collected over the years to remind us that we can do this sort of thing with style. I’m thinking you’ll be ...

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Memphasis > There should be a law against laws like these.

May 19th, 2016

OUR ELEPHANTS. The old joke goes this way: Every morning on the commuter train to work a man watches another man read his paper, meticulously folding every page to a single column width, then unfolding and refolding as he reads each column top to bottom. Finally, unable to stand it anymore, the first approaches the second and asks, “Why do you do that?” ...

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Memphasis > High Water Marks

May 12th, 2016

LORD KNOWS, THE CRICK DOES RISE. The last time I was on a cook team, the Mississippi was lapping at the top of Tom Lee Park and I’d been lapping at a number of things for a couple of days myself. On May 15, 1983, the river crested at 39.2' on the Memphis gauge, the river and I way above flood stage on anybody’s gauge. Very early that morning, I opened my ...

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Memphasis > Memphis Barbecue Primer

May 5th, 2016

IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR BARBECUE HERE, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE YOU GET IT. The World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest is next week. One of my first columns was about defining barbecue when no definition should be necessary. Sadly, we’ve slipped further and further down a saucy slope and basic definitions are required again. Any pig cooked for a ...

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Memphasis > Unbelievable

April 28th, 2016

THE STATE OF UN.  In this nadir of presidential elections with everyone awash in slimy sound bites, with Congress and a Supreme Court nominee stuck in the mud, it takes truly jaw-dropping state legislative idiocy to draw the attention of the national media, make the monologues of late night hosts and inspire Saturday Night Live skits. The Tennessee General Assembly ...

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