Ranting

Memphasis > Fascination

February 6th, 2014

URPED MY OATS. “I urped my oats,” the two-year-old announced from the backseat. “Urped her oats? Did she throw up back there?” her grandfather questioned. “Yes, baby,” her grandmother said to her, “you do have purple boots.” Last week, her grandparents took two-year-old Campbell to see her first movie on a big screen.

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Memphasis > Mae Be, Mae Be Not

January 30th, 2014

MAE BE ONTO SOMETHING. State senator Mae Beavers – really, that’s her name – has offered legislation that makes it against the law in Tennessee to obey the law in the United States – really, I couldn’t possibly make that up. Ah, the sweet memories so many of us want to hold onto down here in the grits belt – states’ rights, ...

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Memphasis > Driving While Stupid

January 23rd, 2014

DRIVING US CRAZY. I write about things Memphis, and there’s nothing more Memphis than the idiots on our roads. Our driving is like our unpredictable, even dangerous creativity, our shtick of doing old things in new ways and scaring people to death while we’re at it. My father-in-law once backed his car a quarter mile down the interstate shoulder ...

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Memphasis > Give Me My Money, The Sequel

January 16th, 2014

A BILLION IS, LIKE, A LOT. Sometimes numbers are so huge – so much larger than life, if you will – they are beyond our comprehension. For instance, the tonsillectomy that went so horribly wrong recently and left one child brain dead can engage the national media and captivate the country for weeks – while we pay no attention at all to the millions ...

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Memphasis > Give Me My Money

January 9th, 2014

IT’S MINE, AND I WANT IT BACK. I thought I heard the captain say Pay me my money down Tomorrow is our sailing day Pay me my money down That’s from the old work song, “Pay Me My Money Down,” later sung by Pete Seeger and more lately by Bruce Springsteen. I’d like for Bill, Ron, Mark, Brian, all the boys and Beth in Nashville to gather round and ...

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