Ranting

Memphasis > Paraprosdokian

February 2nd, 2012

THE VOICES IN MY HEAD MAY NOT BE REAL, BUT THEY HAVE SOME GOOD IDEAS. That line, aside from being an apt description of my entire career, is a paraprosdokian – a figure of speech in which the latter part of a phrase causes the reader to re-frame the first part. The comedian Steven Wright makes a living off these things, and you probably have some living in your ...

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Memphasis > Fight Fair

January 26th, 2012

OKAY, PEOPLE, BREAK IT UP. Are you ready to rumble? If Terry Roland and the whole County Commission really do get into it, is it even possible they could get hit hard enough to knock some sense into the whole body? In this corner, self-service. In that one, public service. Over here, public civility. Over there, public spectacle. Progress against same-old, same-old.

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Memphasis > Bend and Lift

January 19th, 2012

BUILDING NEW BOXES. “Listen here, college boy. Bend your knees when you pick that up, or you won’t make a week.”” That sound advice came from Charles, across a huge stack of corrugated boards that would soon hold refrigerators, on my first day at Mead Container. Way over on Manassas, north of Chelsea, way far away from my ...

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Memphasis > For Bob

January 12th, 2012

FOUND, NOT LOST“There’s a hole up here,” she said, and then held up a mirror so I could see a perfectly round, barren wasteland about two inches wide in what used to be an uninterrupted forest of dark brown hair. But, then, it used be all dark brown, too. “What should I do about it?” I asked. “Stay away from people taller than you,” ...

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Memphasis > Personal Hook

January 5th, 2012

CAUGHT FOR LIFE. At five o’clock on a Sunday morning in 1969 the phone in the frat house rang. When a phone rings at that time on that day in a frat house, it’s a wrong number, bad news, or somebody calling for bail money. This call was for me. “Dan?” said the voice. “This is Andy Holt.” Andy Holt. A voice equal parts molasses and ...

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