Ranting

Give Yourself a 10 in Advertising

September 10th, 2009

1. Know your product.

“Only tattoos last longer.”
Doc Martens


“When you’re on a liquid diet, snaps on your outfits are pretty handy.”
baby clothes


2. Know your prospect.

“If she asks you what you’re drinking,
do you really want to say ‘spritzer’ to this woman?”
Dewars

“Screwing, nailing, reaming LIVE!”
Trauma on Tour, Smith & Nephew Orthopaedics


3. Know how to talk to your prospect.

“Tix for tats.”
Memphis Grizzlies, Allen Iverson, ticket giveaway promotion.

“Hire a hooker and you’ll do it on the news.  Johns appearing on Action News 5.”
Shelby County District Attorney’s office


4. Talk to one at a time.

“On your deathbed, will you wish you spent more time with the company controller?”
Family Life Magazine

“Does your kid have hundred dollar feet and a ten-dollar head?”
Bell Helmets


5. Make it personal.

“You’ve just found out you have cancer.
Let’s begin by reducing the size of the lump in your throat.”
Neupogen

“Crumple this up and throw it away. If that hurts, uncrumple and read.”
West Hills Memorial Day Surgery

“If you decide to prepare your own tax return this year,
we’d like to remind you that an eraser will prove invaluable.
Not to mention a very sharp point that can be easily inserted into the carotid artery.”
CPA


6. Make it focused.

“To claim that only tough guys wear Everlast is probably a generalization.
However, it’s doubtful many start the day with a croissant and a cup of cappuccino.”
Everlast

“What separates man from the apes? A few bucks admission.”
Memphis Zoo, Primate Canyon



7. Make it intrusive.

“If you can’t get it washed for $3,
you’re getting hosed.”
Auto•Matic Pride Car Wash

“If you take a chance with sex, take this.”
Morning After pill


8. Make it memorable.

Marlboro man, 1954.

“Think small.”
Bill Bernbach, 1963.

“Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun.”
McDonald’s, 1974.


9. Make it yours.

“Round Town.”
Memphis Grizzlies


“If you don’t stay at The Peabody, it doesn’t matter where you stay.”
The Peabody

“The most famous rib since Adam.”
The Rendezvous


10. Make it the truth.

“We can restore your car to its original ugliness.”
Kotes of Kolor Auto Body

“Made from state-of-the-art pine trees.”
Rootin’ Ridge Wooden Toys

“Feel the wind in your toe hair.”
Vans Sandals

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